First get a ten-year old twin bed. Work hard all day doing exercises, work, homeschool and your own school. Then climb into bed and sink into your own familiar place in the bed. Just when you do that, have your 6″ 2′ husband climb into bed with you and place one arm under you as your pillow and one arm over you, pull you close and instantly start breathing rhythmically into your ear. (I’m not kidding. He can go to sleep within 10 seconds.) Then lay there and listen to the waves from the Pacific Ocean right outside your window. I challenge you to stay awake more than five minutes. (You must get your own 6″ 2′ husband to accept the challenge.) If I could bottle that, I’d be a millionaire.
I need to write something for the Writer’s Digest Contest in May. I think I want to write something from my life in the inspirational category, but I’m not sure. I’ve always wanted to write stories, but my life has not lent itself to a lot of free time to do that. I think I’ve used that as an excuse though, because I’m afraid. I think it’s time to come out of that fear and get moving.
What did I learn from my experiences with how Matt and I got together, the death of our first child and the subsequent beautiful child, Pearl, that the Lord blessed us with? I learned that forgiveness is easily received from Jesus, but not without the high cost of His death on the cross. I learned that Love covers a multitude of sins. I learned that His ways are higher than our ways. When our baby died, that could have torn Matt and I apart, but instead we became even closer as we navigated our healing from that loss. We allowed each other the time to mourn in our own way. We talked to each other and didn’t hide our feelings. That was a big step for me because I almost alway internalize my feelings. I accepted that even though Matt didn’t have a child inside of him, he still felt the loss just as keenly. It helped that he was with me each step of the way and was with me in the room when we saw the baby inside me without a heart beat. That is what I really love about Matt is he always wants us to be together in work and play. That has always been his goal and I know God will honor him someday with his dream of us working together in our own business. Matt is my dreamer and I love him for that.
I learned that God can give you something beautiful out of the ashes of a great loss. I can’t imagine life without Pearl. God’s ways are perfect and past finding out.
Well this has been a rambling post, but I just needed to get back into the habit of writing on my blog again. After today, I will be working on my Writer’s Digest submission. I have to read the rules to see if it can be posted on my blog first or not. If not, I’ll still write on my blog. Maybe I’ll try my hand at poetry again.