“God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” Numbers 23:19
I let fear get in my way this week. I wanted something and worried about it so badly, I caused myself bodily harm with the stress of not giving it over to God. I started collapsing into my own little world of worry, doubt and fear instead of resting in His promises.
Why are you depressed, O my soul? Why are you upset? Wait for God! For I will again give thanks to my God for his saving intervention. Ps. 42:5, Netbible
I again reverted to my gut reaction, which is, “No one will be there for me. I am alone. I am the only person who will take care of me.”
Yesterday morning I woke up to a huge rainbow in the sky. Anyone from California understands how rare rainbows are without rain. There must of been some kind of moisture because the rainbow was beautiful. I was so caught up in my mind with worry, that I didn’t see the significance. It took most of the day to remember the rainbow – I’m not alone.
God is not like my human parents, who because they were wounded themselves, wounded me. He is not going to leave me alone when I need him most. He wants to know us and he wants us to know him.
Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” John 17:3
He died so we could enter into the Godhead directly. He died so we would never have to be alone again. He died and was resurrected to give us full access to his glory.
I had forgotten all of this during the week. I’m so thankful he reminded me and took the time to speak to me. I have peace again. God is such a lover of our souls. I’m overwhelmed.