My first two attempts at a Haiku

I had to write a Haiku for my Poetry class. After some comments from my teacher on my rough draft, here is the final version. I did two hoping that one of them would give me a good grade.

Sinking of the Ship

Liquid mountains loom

Choking, pleading, Stop! Darkness

Captains know their place.


Winter Forts

Brick by frozen brick

Giggling as we shovel

Defending our yard.