I stepped on the scale today as I do every morning (when I care) and the scale said 156.2. I did good yesterday. I went to bed hungry, but feeling good about how I did great with my eating only to wake up to a 2 oz weight gain. It almost sent me off the rails. Thoughts ran through my head like, “How about I just stop eating. Maybe then I can lose some weight.” or “I know, I’ll only eat protein and lettuce from now on.” I ate exactly 4 oz of premium low sodium roast beef and a few squares of very dark chocolate and went on my walk. While walking, I started thinking, it’s amazing how the number on the scale can influence everything about my day. It decides who I talk to. It decides if I go to a new women’s group. It decides how affectionate I am towards my husband. It decides if I look people in the eye and say hello as I pass them on my morning walk. If I had gotten on the scale and it said anything below 156, I would have been a different person. I then heard God say, “You are not a number on a scale.” I thought about that for a while and I finally agreed. I thought about who I really am. My first thoughts were, I’m a mother, wife, student and have multiple jobs outside the house. I have gifts from God that he has allowed me to use to further his kingdom (I hope). But that really just says what I do. Who am I? I turned to who else, but Joyce Meyer to tell me. Yes I’m kidding, kind of. She has a webpage entitled Knowing Who I Am in Christ. It is awesome. One of the line items on this page caught my eye. “I have received the gift of righteousness and reign as a king in life by Jesus Christ (Romans 5:17 NIV).” I had to look this up to make sure this is what was being said. I reign as a King. Later today, I saw a picture in my head of me in a very small area. There were walls all around me, but I couldn’t see them due to a facade that covered them. My eyes were opened. I saw the walls and I started trying to climb them. The facade fell down and I saw someone standing on the walls. He reached his hand down and pulled me up on top. I made it just in time to watch a magnificent sunrise over the ocean. I felt like my life was just starting.
*disclaimer, I know I live on the west coast and a sunrise over the ocean is impossible, but God works in the impossible. 🙂