My feelings scare me. I see my feelings as a giant octopus. I’m standing alone in my mind. A large tentacle of fear slaps me across the face and retreats into the darkness. Another tentacle of loneliness smacks me in my chest. Abandonment punches me in the gut. I cower from them and busy myself with other things to block them out.
Sometimes I determine to hunt them down and eradicate them. I throw open the curtains to my soul and open all the doors. I flood the room with light. Instead of freezing like terrified fainting goats and falling over, I see the door to a another room in my mind slam shut by those tentacles as my feelings flee to a darker area of my being.
Today, instead of reading, watching television or stuffing my face, I stood still in the darkness. I could hear my slithering feelings creep closer and closer threatening to overwhelm me. In my hands, I hold a flashlight. I slowly turn around and clicked on the small but steady stream of light. I catch one of my feelings in the beam.
Imagine my surprise when instead of a slimy, ugly creature, it is a cute little baby squid cowering in the corner just as scared as me. I gently pick it up and examine it. I then release it back to the ocean of my past where it belongs.
It is Well With My Soul Kristene DiMarco & Bethel Music